The Reason For My Tears
by LilStana
Summary: Rick and Kate met when they were younger. Something in kate s past happend that makes it hard for her to trust,and let other people in...
1. Chapter 1

**Really hope you enjoin it :)**

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The way she sat there,always at the last table,in the dark corner at the back of the coffee shop',he thought.

Since he once came into the coffee shop and saw her there, he almkst came everyday,just to sit there,studying her.

Studying her long,brown hair and how it's falling over her shoulders,and of course her beautiful hazel eyes,in which he could get lost.

But besides how beautiful here eyes are, he also noticed pain and sadness in them.

Once he thought, he saw a few tears running down her cheeks.

When he is watching her,he is always wondering who could have broken the heart of the young,beautiful woman so damn hard, that she's always alone,not smiling and lost in her own thoughts.

Suddenly, she looked up,making eye contact with him.

As he realized he was staring at her, he blushed and took a sip of his already cold coffee.

When he looked up again, he saw her standing in front of his table, even more beautiful now.

She had gorgeous long legs, and her skin looked so soft that he wanted to touch it.

"Hey", she finally said."I saw you staring at me and ehh... I was wondering if I could join you, beacause it seems like you're not waiting for anyone..."

She looked him directly in his baby blue eyes.'GOD, he has amazing blue eyes', she thought.

"Why do you think that,... ehm..."

"Kate",she said finishing his question.

"Rick,my name's Rick", he said smiling.

"So, why do you think I am not waiting for someone,am I looking so bad?", he said very dramatically.

"Ehh, course :

1. You were staring at me, so I think you're not waiting for another woman, if you are waiting for another woman, you would be an I know you're not because:

2. You were staring at me for about 20 minutes and a few times before too", she said,and he thought he just saw a little smile on her face.

"You know that I were..."

"Of course I did", she interrupt him. "Do I look like an idiot to you?!"

"Ehh,NO!,and to your first question:I would love if you would join me", he said smiling like an idiot.

"Rhanks", she said shyly.

"Wow!"

"What?", she asked, looking around in the coffee shop if he just saw something so great that made him say 'Wow!'

He laughed when he saw her looking around in the coffee shop.

"What now?", she asked, raising a brow.

"I were saying 'Wow!' because of you", he saw her blushing.

"At first you were really strong, and then you were so shy, that's kind of cute!", he saw her blushing again.

Kate felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and looked at the screen.

"Ehhm,I am so sorry,but I have to go", she said after reading the text messagw of her best friend Lanie.

"No problem,It was nice meeting you Kate", he said a bit sad about the fact she had to go, because he enjoined talking to her,even if it only were for a few minutes.

"My pleasure,Rick", she said,stood up and left the coffee shop.

"Kate! Wait!", he watched her turning around and stopping when she saw him.

"Can I have your phone number? I enjoined talking to you."

"Yeah,me too", she said,smiled and took a piece of paper and a pen out of her purse,wrote something down and gave it to him.

"Bye,Rick.", she said turned around and went to the next bus station.

He looked at the piece of paper from her,and smiled when he read it.

'Hope you'll call me, xo Kate. 4131947'

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**So that was the first chap,second one is coming soon!**

**Pls review, I would love to know what you think about it so far.**

**Sry for any mistakes,English is not my native language :)**

**Xoxo**

**Noe**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here´s the second chap.**

**Don´t like it as much as I liked the first one...**

**Still hope you enjoin and PLLLS REVIEW :)**

**Castle is,sadly,not mine :(**

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Kate's alarm clock started ringing.

When Kate looked at it she realized she really had to get up, because Lanie is coming over soon,and she had to shower and get dressed before.

After she had showered, she wanted to get over to her bedroom to get dressed,when she heard the knock on her apartment door. She looked at the clock in her kitchen,11am. She stood there long and thought about how she really could have had showered for about one hour.

"Girl, are you coming? It`s cold out here", she heard Lanie's voice behind the door.

"Hey there,Lanie", Kate said as she opened the door, just with a towel around her body.

"Hey, also a turtle would be faster in opening a door,than you are."

Kate and Lanie both started to laugh, Kate told Lanie to sit down and that she just would get dressed.

"So, Kay! Here I am!", said Kate when she came out of her bedroom, now dressed, walking over to Lanie.

"Wanna drink something?"

"Yeah, a glass of water please"

Kate walked over to her kitchen to make Lanie her glass of water and herself a coffee.

"So,how's going with the guy you met at the bar Lanie?

"It's over,we broke up, he went back to his ex."

"Oh, I am so sorry Lanie. But you don't deserve someone like that, you deserve better."

"Thanks, Kate."

After Lanie explained everything to Kate she asked,"What about you girl? We should go out together, checking out some guys"

Kate smiled because she thought about her conversation with Rick, and his fucking gorgeous eyes.

"What's that for a smile on your face? Is it a yes-we'll-go-out-together-smile? Or what does it mean?"

"Its more like a I-met-a-nice-guy-yesterday-smile" "Whoa,that's great girl!",Lanie screamed.

After few more hours,and having lunch together,Lanie had to leave.

Kate had no other plans for today, so she decided to go for a run.

When she arrived at the Central Park, she were looking for a place where she could sit down and make a break.

After sitting there for like two minutes, a familiar voice asked her if he could sit down.

After she turned around, she faced Rick.

"Yeah sure sit down"

"Thanks."

"By the way, Hey!"

"Yeah,Hey...",he smiled."I were about to call you later. I thought, we could go to the coffee shop and talk a bit."

"I..."

"Of course only if you want!",he cut her off.

"Yeah,Why not? I would love to,I doesn't have any plans for today, so when do you wanna meet there?",she asked.

"What about 7pm?"

"That's perfect!",she replied shyly.

"So,7pm at the coffee shop... Cant wait to see you again!",he said, Kate blushing.

"So,I need to go home now,because its already 5:30pm"

"Kay,see ya!"

"See ya,Rick.", she said, stood up,turned around and started running again.

After she were around the corner,he let out the breath, he didn't know he was holding. But Kate just looked too sexy in her running shorts and her running shirt,some curls falling into her face.

He really couldn't wait to see her again.

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**That was it for now :) 3rd Chap is coming . **

**Sry for any mistakes,English is not my native language.**

**Pls Review :) 3**

**Xoxo**

**Noe**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here´s the 3rd chap,like it was promised ;)**

**Nothing belongs to me,sadly :(**

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7:05pm, he opened the door to the coffee shop, and automatically looked over to 'her' table at the back.

But she wasn't there instead she were sitting at the table they first met.

"Hey,I didn't know how you like your coffee so I told the waitress to come back, when you arrive", she said and smiled.

"Thanks",he said also smiling,from the corner of his eyes he could see a waitress coming over to them.

After they told her what they wanted to drink, Rick started to tell her some stories of his past.

"Really?! You stole a police horse?!",she laughed, he never saw her laughing like this.

"I borough it", he replied.

"Naked?!",she asked,still laughing.

"It was spring!"

"You are weird,Rick!"

"Lo raro mola!", he said,laughing about her confused face.

"It's Spanish and means: weird things rock!"

"You call yourself a 'thing'?",she laughed.

"Actually,No! A friend of mine,Alejandro, told me that sentence one day, but only with weird THINGS rock

Not with weird PEOPLE rock",he laughed.

After they talked a bit more, Rick had to go...

"But if you want we could watch a movie together?"

"Yeah,Sure!"

"I'm gonna text you my address"

They said Bye to each other and made their ways home.

"Hey Lanie",Kate said into her phone.

She directly called her after she came home.

"Hey girl! You sound happy, what's up?

"I told you about Rick yesterday,right?!"

Ehhh, yep. I quote: 'a guy with amazing blue eyes' ",Lanie started laughing after she finished the sentence.

Kate blushed,she didn't know she had talked about him like that.

"Yeah,we're going to watch a movie later!"

"That's great,but I can hear in your voice that there's a matter."

"You know Lanie,last time I met a guy,I still was main college,and I don't know ,what if I'm talking shit,or he doesn't like me how I am?"

Lanie gave her a few tips,and then they hung up.

Right after they hung up,she got a message from Rick.

She replied fast,took a shower and got dressed.

She called her a cab, and when it arrived she told the driver Rock's address.

On her ride there,she thought about the tips Lanie gave her.

He heard a knock on his door,when he started to make popcorn.

He walked over to the door, took a deep breath,to calm himself down and opened the door.

He couldn't take his eyes off the young,shy woman in front of him. Wearing black heels,a pair of jeans and a purple shirt. Her hair in a messy bun,she smiled when he looked her in the eyes.

"Can I come in?", she asked shyly.

"Ehhh,yeah sure,sorry",he took her jacket and told her to sit down.

"Do you want something to drink? A glass of wine maybe?", he offered her.

"Yes,please",she watched him as be tried to open the bottle of wine and make popcorn at the same time.

After he desperately tried to open the bottle a few more time,she walked over to him,took the bottle out of his hands,walked back to where she had sat,left him with a confused face and opens the bottle with a loud 'plopp'.

He told her to choose a movie,while he were going to get a bowl for the popcorn.

She chose 'The Double' with Richard Gere.

When the movie was over,he realized that she fell asleep.

Her head resting on his shoulder and her hand in his chest.

"Kate", he said softly, trying to wake her.

"Mhm?!",she mumbled.

"You have to wake up,it's late and the movie is over."

"Wha's da time?"

"1am,Kate"

"WHAT!? 1 AM!?", suddenly Kate was awake,Rick laughed.

"Yep,1 am"

"I should go home",she said smiling because now she realized ,that she rested her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest.

"I'm gonna call you a cab"

"Thanks Rick"

"Al... Your welcome"

After he called her a cab,he walked her to the door.

"Thanks for the nice evening, well also the night", she laughed.

"Call me if you wanna do it again"

"Sure,I should go now the cab is probably already waiting for me", she smiled leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

She looked him in the eyes,turned around,and walked away.

"Bye,Kate!", he whispered.

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**Hope you liked it ;)**

**Pllllls Review! I would love to know what you like or dislike :)**

**Xoxo**

**Noe**


	4. Chapter 4

"Hola,Kiddo!",an older woman with red hair opened the door to his apartment.

"Hello mother! How was your trip?",he asked.

"It was great! The people were sooo nice..."

Rick started to think about Kate, soon he was lost in his thoughts.

"But... What's up? You weren't listening to me anymore and you doesn't seem happy?",she asked.

"I... I met a gorgeous woman,she's very beautiful,and her smile is pure magic,we also watched a movie together.."

"And what's the problem then?",the older woman's asked confused.

"That was two weeks ago,I told her to call or text me if she wanna do something like that again,but seems like she's not interested in me...",he explained his mother.

"Ohhh,maybe she just had to work much in those two weeks'",she said walking upstairs, making herself ready for a date.

When she opened the door to the coffee shop ,she saw Rick sitting at a table near a window.

Should she go over to him? He's probably angry...

They didn't saw each other because she didn't call him.

She decided to go over to him, he should know why she didn't call.

After she had bought herself a coffee she walked over to him. Nervously she sat down in front of him,not asking if she could,she knew he would say no.

He looked up,and she knew at way he looked at her that he was pissed.

"Rick! I wanna explain you why I didn't call...

I... You already mean much to me, and I were afraid of loosing you, because what happens in 's life years ago, and I am broken, and because I were afraid of loosing people who mean much to me,I built up a wall inside of me,so no one could get in so no one could have hurt me again.I would love to explain you everything a bit more ,and I would hope that we could speak at your apartment,but probably you don't wanna see me again...", he saw tears built up in her eyes,and when he saw that she wanted to stand up he grabbed her wrist.

"Kate,please wait...",he watched her thinking and she decided not to go.

He took her hand and said:" I was and still am a bit pissed but I would love if you explain everything to me, because I wanna understand you... Maybe 6am at my apartment?",he smiled at her.

"REALLY?", she couldn't believe him, no one ever wanted to speak to her again after something like that.

"Yeah,really!"

"Kay,6am your apartment.",she smiled.

They talked a bit more till Rick had to leave.

She watched him leave and sat a bit more at the table at the coffee shop.

When Kate arrived at his apartment,her hands were trembling, after few deep breaths she knocked at his door.

He opened the door and let her in.

"Ehhh... we got a little problem. I forgot to go to the supermarket so would you mind if we would order something in?",he asked,his hand going through his hair.

"Of course we can order something in, I don't mind."

"Kay,the",he said blushing.

Rick noticed she was still wearing her jacket and asked if he could take her jacket. When she said yes ,he helped her out of her jacket and his hand touched her arm,because of that electric shocks went through her body.

After they called to order something in,they sat with an awkward silence on his stared at her hands because he noticed they were shaking.

"You're staring!",she suddenly said without looking at him.

"I.. What? Where? Sorry! Wanna watch TV till our food arrives?"

She nodded and he stood up to turn the TV on,when he sat down again he sat down next to her,their knees touching.

After a few minutes of sitting on the couch,she laid down her hand on his hand, when he wanted to take hers in his,the door bell ring and the food arrived.

After they finished eating she started to talk.

"You know I wanted to explain you everything..."

"You don't have to Kate!I hope you know that!"

" 'course I do! But I wanna tell you... It was two years ago. My mum,dad and me wanted to catch dinner at a restaurant to talk a bit. She didn't come so I wanted to go home, maybe she forgot it because she had to work so hard. My dad waited at the restaurant...", tears started to built up in her eyes.

"I walked home and in an alley I heard her screaming! I walked into that alley and there she laid, stapped in her stomach a few times,near death"


	5. Chapter 5

"God Kate!", he didn't want to tell her how sorry he is because he thought she must have heard that very often.

"I haven't finished yet,Rick!",she said sobbing,her voice full of pain.

"I went over to her...",she took a deep breath and Rick let her head lay down on his shoulder one arm around her shoulders to show her that he's here for her.

"When I arrived next to her I heard footsteps I thought anyone wanna come and help... I scream to dial '911'

but all I saw was a man standing in front of me with his knife full of blood. Last I felt before I woke up at the hospital was the knife in my stomach and the pain. When I woke up at the hospital they told me that my mum was dead which I already thought so. My dad started to drink and he still is. I moved in my own apartment since then because he didn't notice me anymore and he didn't want any help."

"Kate, your safe with me, you know?"

"I know", she laid down her head into his lap, she was tired because of crying this much. Rick started to draw patterns on her shoulders.

"You were afraid that I didn't wanna see you anymore because of your past?"

"Actually,yes!"

"You wouldn't loose me because of that,maybe you're broken,scared and hurt," he leaned closer to her, their lips only inches apart.

"But your still the strongest woman I've ever met... And I think you're extraordinary!" He leaned closer again and their lips met.

It was a short kiss and when their lips parted they stared into each other's eyes.

Then suddenly, Kate trouw his hands around his neck and kissed him again,this time harder.

Rick opened his mouth and his tongue touched her lower lip asking for entrance,her mouth opened allowed him to entrance and their tongues started to fight for dominance.

When the need for oxygen became too much,they broke apart breathlessly.

After a couple of minutes,no more kisses,Kate looked at her phone and told him she had to leave. He called her a cab and she put on her jacket.

Before she went out of the door she thanked him.

"Rick... thank you for taking me how I am!"

"Always,Kate!"

She kissed him again,turned around and walked to her cab, smiling like an idiot.

**Sry It´s really really short...**

**Try to make the next one bigger :)**

**Pllls Review :/ Only got two reviews and I would love to know what you like and what I should change/make better... :/**

**Xoxo**

**Noe**


	6. Chapter 6

**So here's a new chapter :) Thanks for the Reviews :)**

**Hope you enjoin :)**

**This chap is for Ale because she´s fucking amazing :-*  
**

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Next day Kate woke up and needed some time to remember what happend.

Then she knew again. She told and kissed him!

Why the hell did she kissed him? She didn´t knew. But one thing she knew was that she wasn´t ready for that.

Maybe it were her feelings about her mother´s death and the fact that she was scared,maybe that´s the reason why she kissed him.

Kate put her blanket away and stood up. She made herself a coffee,after she had drunk it completly she walked over to her bedroom and was getting she had brushed her teeth, she put her hair in a bun and walked over to the kitchen again.

She saw her phone lying on the little table in her kitchen and took it. She looked at the screen and decided to call Rick.

She should tell him that she wasn´t ready yet, but she shouldn´t tell him at phone.

"Richard Castle", he said.

Kate thought about how to start to tell him, while he was waiting for a answer on the phone.

"Kate?", he asked, because she still didn´t say a thing.

"Ohhh, yeah sorry.I am here", she finally answered.

"How are you?", he asked.

" I am good,thanks. But... Rick?"

" Yeah Kate? "

"I need to tell you something. Can we meet?"

"Ehh yeah of course. Wanna give me your address? I could come over, if you give it to", he asked little bit confused, because he didn´t know what she wanted to tell her. Was it about yesterday?

She gave him her address and he told her she would be there in 20 minutes,then they hung up.

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He said he would be there in 20 minutes, that was 35 minutes ago. `Probably he was late ecause of the traffic', she told herself.

Five minutes later he arrived and knocked at her door.

She walked over and opened the door slowly,when she locked at his face she smiled shyly.

"Hey", she said quietly. "Come in"

He walked in and she closed the door behind him.

"You can sit down over there", she said and pointed at her couch.

He looked at her couch and walked slowly over to it. He never was in her apartment, her living room was big like her kitchen.

There was a closed door, he thought that that must be her bedroom. One thing he didnt saw was a bathroom, probably it was in her bedroom.

He sat down on the couch and Kate came with two cups of coffee back to him. She gave him a cup and sat down next to him.

"I already asked how you are, so I'm going over to my second question whuch would be what you wanna talk about with me?", he asked.

"It´s about yesterday... I am always so helpless when I talk about it, and my feelings drive crazy and I think that's probably the reason why I..."

"Why you kissed me?",he cut her off. "Ehm yeah? I think I am not ready to jump into a relationship yet. And we barely know each other, we should take it slowly... I don't say we should forgot about the kiss because ou can't just forget but maybe take some steps ackward again?!", she said.

" I agree", he answered. "How many steps you wanna take back? Back to where we watched movies?",he asked and she nodded.

"Okay!", he answered and he wasn´t mad or angry about her. He knew that it was probably too much yesterday.

"Okay", she smiled. " What were you aout to do today?"

"Actually I have to work today", he said.

"Can I ask what you work?" she asked and he saw her blushing because actually they never talked about what they work or do in their only knew she loved to go for a run but that was it...

" I am an author", he answered and she laughed. "Why are you laughing?", he answered and acted like a little kid which doesn´t understand why the adults are laughing about it.

"You an author?!", she asked. "Yeah!", he said offended. " Something I may heard from?", she asked. "Nop, i'm writing on my first book. I aways loved writing also at school, so now I try to get money with it. By the way what are you working?"

" I am going to the police academy soon", she answered and smiled.

" The police academy? That´s hot",he said and she laughed.

His phone rang and he took it. " I'm sorry, looks important", she noodd at what he said.

"Yeah I'm coming,of course.", he hung up and lokked to was watching him.

"I'm sorry I have to go.I'll call you,okay?"

"Okay"

She opened the door for him and he walked out, but before she closed the door again she said "Kate? Don't make any plans for this evening because I already got one", he said and walked a smiling Kate.

**What do you think? :/**

**Sry for any mistakes, English is not my native language and I'm also sick at the moment:/**

**Pllls Review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know,I know! I didn´t upload in ages!**

**And I am soooo sry...**

**School is keeping me sooo busy DX**

**Hope you like this chap though...**

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Rick was standing in front of his apartment door looking for keys, his mother called him and said he needed to come home.

He finally found his keys in his pocket and opened the door.

"Mother! I am home! Why was it so important to come ho..."

"Shhh, Richard! You need to whisper!", his mother whispered.

"Why?", he asked still not whispering, noticing he didnt whisper he repeat it again this time whispering.

"Alexis is home", his mother whispered. Alexis,his daughter,five years old. "Meredith called and said she needs to fly to L.A. for a job and that she couldn´t take Alexis with her..."

"Where´s Alexis now?", he asked his mother.

"Asleep in her room. Meredith took her out for a shopping marathon before taking her here."

"Ok. Thanks for calling me,mother!"

"No need to than me Richard. But gotta go now... Probably will be back in two days. Gonna drive away over the weekend.",she explained, and left.

Rick standing alone in his apartment. He didnt tell Kate about Alexis yet. How would she react?

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"Alexis. Pumpkin. Wake up!", he tried to wake up cant sleep too long because if she does she wont be able to sleep later when its time to sleep for her.

"Daddy?", Alexis asked confused, opening her eyes looking around to look where she is.

"Yeah, Alexis it´s me. Remember? Meredith took you home."

"Ohh,right! Because work is more important than me!",she said upset.

"Alexis! Of course,work is important for your mother but its not more important than you are for her!"

"You sure? We only did a few times something together, most times I watched .Or drawed .Once I also had to stay at a friend of her because she had a 'date'!"

"Ohhh, sweetie! But now you are home again and we can have soooo much . Promised.", he said. "Now C`mon, wanna eat something? It´s time for ed again soon!"

"Yeah! I am starving!"

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After they had eat and watched a movie, it was time for bed again. At the time Alexis, was brushing her tooth and getting dressed for bed, Rick went to his phone and called Kate,asking if she wanna come over later.

"Yeah,would like to come over tonight",she answered." Anything I have to take with me? A movie or something like that?", she asked.

"Do you got a bottle of wine? I think my mother drunk mine",he answered.

"Of course. But? You live with your mother?", she asked and laughed.

"Actually she live with ME", he replied hearing her laughing even more. He imaged her beautiful smile while she was still laughing.

"Yeah suuure Rick!", she answered after laughing, teasing him." See ya later Rick!"

"See ya later",he answered before he hung up.

After he hung up Alexis came and told him shes ready for bed. He brought her to bed and told her a story.

He left her room,trying to make no noises and closed the door.

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Kate sat in the cab,driving to his apartment. She was wearing a pair of jeans,a purple blouse and her black heels. When she arrived she gave the driver the money and went into the builing.

She knocked at his door, and after a few seconds he opened the door.

"hey",he said.

"Hey, here´s the wine", she said. "Sure that 'your mother' drunk your bottle of wine?", she asked,laughing again.

"Yeah, I am sure ", he replied and started laughing to. He took her jackett and the bottle of wine, and then said: "Sit down on the couch, gonna come soon, just have to safe something on my laptop."

"kay,thanks.", she saw him walking away and made her way over to the couch and sitting down.

She heard a door opening and closing again and thouht he would join her now.

"Daddy?",she heard a voice saying. She looked at the stairs and saw a little girl staying there, her teddy ear in her arms.

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**Hope you can forgive me that I didn´t upload sooner :'(**

**Plllls review! Reviews make me write faster and I know how many ppl actually read this story and if you like it...**

**Xoxo**

**Noe**


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